ALLEEWAYS

AT The Hop...

2012-01-02T02:10:00.000-08:00

Fifty years ago, I graduated from High School! WHAT?! It's True. And this coming Sept., I will be attending our fiftieth high school reunion. Where did the time go?!
We are now in 2012! A year I could not ever imagine seeing, considering that as a teen, I used to believe I would not live past age 18. Well here I am. And glad I am!

I usually write a post on New Years Eve, but this past one, I did not. Too many things going on all around me. I just needed some chill time. And rather than feeling obligated to write something.. I chose to pass until today..Jan 2, 2012.

In 2010, I wrote about my intentions for 2011, and here is my Report Card:

First and foremost, I spent a great deal of the year on health and recovery from injuries sustained in a Car Accident, in March 2008, and a fall I had at work in March 2009... beginning to think I need to be more aware and alert, in the month of March.
That took a great deal of time and energy plus I have a job. No excuse.
Just what is. And, I have been healing fairly well... I am told that shoulder
injuries take some time to recover from, especially when Surgery is Involved. Unless it is a matter of life or death, I will never ever have
shoulder surgery again. A miserable experience.

I made great gains in learning to love and forgive myself and others. I can honestly say that today, I am much more aware of my Sense of Worthiness, than I was on NYE 2010.
I took care of matters of My Heart. I had been carrying a Crush for far
too long, and finally declared my feelings and no matter what happens,
I am free of the Secret Love in My Heart. Free to love and be loved,
again. I learned many things about myself and my past from carrying that torch and the angst that came with it. I was not able to let it go until It became clear that what I was wanting from her, had more to do with what
I did not get in my early childhood and adolescent years, than wanting her love and attention.
Oh, to be clear, I would not pass up a relationship with her now. I am thankful that I can feel Love for her, even if she does not feel the same for me. I feel fortunate, that I have acquired skills to deal with and process, emotional issues from the past, that come up in the present and make me feel like I am crazy.

I have made sure that I get up and move more and watched my diet, and I am doing flex and strength exercises for my shoulders. However, I have taken on the NiteOwl sleeping cycle, mainly because of my work hours, but/and feel the need to right myself in that area.

I did not buy a stationary bicycle.. I joined the "Y." I haven't be going as much as I wanted, but it's a new year, and I intend to go more often because
it is good exercise for my knees.

I did not keep up with actually writing in my journal, because it was more
handy to write in my notepad on my iphone. But this NYE, I did write
in my journal and realized, once again why I love to commune with my inner-self, in that manner. I went to the OfcSupplies Store, the day before
NYE, and stocked up on my favorite Pens.

I did not blog at all since NYE 2010. So I have alot of catching up to do.

I am in touch with the local organization that deals with children that have
been sexually and physically assaulted, and plan to do some volunteer speaking for them to raise awareness of their valuable services.

I will be joining ToastMasters again, to do what I love best, write and tell
my stories.

I am also flirting with the idea of getting back into singing classes, for better concerts in the shower. Thinking the neighbors would really appreciate that!
I intend to see more daylight! Soak up more Rays. Talk to the Trees and
remember to use Soft-Eyes when I am out and about. It makes every leaf
on a bush or tree POP. It also makes me more aware of our connectedness.

Speaking of connectedness. I read about an exercise to make myself more aware of this sense of oneness, and I have been practicing it.
Example: An SUV drove right up to my car's rear bumper.
And I couldn't go any faster. He swerved around my left, gave me an
ugly look. Drove ahead in and out of the lanes. Driving Crazy.
I said to myself, "Crazy Driver, expletive."
Then, I remembered the exercise and corrected myself, "WAIT, there I go, again, driving Crazy!"
It came a lot easier, this time. It takes the emotional charge out of the moment! Less Stress!

For the moment, That's all I am thinking of doing in 2012... Although I do have more ideas brewing!

I am really looking forward to attending our 50th Reunion. I found some videos, tonight, of AMERICAN BANDSTAND DANCERS. My classmates and I, used to hurry to my house, after school to watch them on TV. We learned to do the Philly Slow Dance and Swing Dance, by simply watching. I learned to Follow and lead. Since I am going
to my 50th Reunion, this year, and we are going to have a HOP, Thought it would be fun to include some dance videos.

Dancing makes me Happy!

(Warning. I don't know how to attach pics and
videos.. so hoping they show up;)

http://www.youtube.com/embed/vnYLnheNu6Q</a><a href=' <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/vnYLnheNu6Q" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>'> " frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>

Simple Recipes: PappasConJuevo

2011-01-03T11:28:00.000-08:00

My Grandma loved me. I knew it.
One of the ways I knew was that she made very special dishes for me! One favorite of mine and hers was PappasConJuevo. She would lovingly wash and slice a Couple of potatos, with skin on, and slice them into cottage fry pieces. Then she would stirfry them Til goldenBrown with some crispiness to them(knew I loved them like that)). At that point she added one or two eggs and scrambled them in Til eggs were well done. A little salt and pepper, and Voila: Yummy for her baby's Tummmy!
Her Baby is now grown-up and sometimes stirs-in good chunky salsa after the eggs!
Buen A ProVecho!

My 2011 Intentions ( do not read as Resolutions;)

2011-01-01T01:16:00.000-08:00

2011 is Now!

The Ball fell in NYCTimes Square about 3hours ago, marking the arrival of
2011.

Every year at this time, I decide what resolutions or goals I want to
accomplish in the new year. And, like many of us, I am gun-ho for a few
weeks and then, magically, I forget;)

I stop doing the new things or not-so-new things that I thought I should
get my ass in gear for and do!
Then When I don't. I have one more reason to feel ashamed of myself for not
having the wherewithall to stick-to-it, and get it done. I disappoint myself.
Then I have another reason to get down on myself... to prove that I am not good
enough.. for the goals... which turns into FOR NOTHING... YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING.

A familiar voice from the past.. once again screams in my ear. But this time, it's my voice. A learned response by me, from the past.. I steadfastly, Demean and Deride myself. And once again I am back in that place of BELIEVING that I am not good enough.. Not Worthy.

I lose sight of the sense of Worthiness.. I know I was born with, and had beaten out of me.. not necessarily physically, so much as Mentally and emotionally.
Which can sometimes be worse than physical abuse. Your body can heal from physical trauma, with time.
And so can your Heart and Mind.. but with a lot of hard work, dedicated focus, attention and desire to heal, and make a new start.

I have been working on this issue, for what seems like all my live, in many varied ways. I have made much progress but never gone all the way.. that is to say, lose that sense of unworthiness, completely.

I am a Twitterer. I tweet, daily, on Twitter, along with many friends in my stream. Some I follow. Some follow me. And one of them is @LeslieSanchez. I follow her because I admire her dedication to her work and play. I enjoy living vicariously through some of her adventures. She posts pics on Twitpic(a place to post pics with descriptions) which makes her tweeting that much more fun to follow and read. Some can't say much with 140characters. And, others can, if they can be succinct and skillful at turning a phrase. And she does.
Recently, she retweeted, a TED Talk Tweet, about a speaker named @BreneBrown, from Houston, Texas. The title of her TED talk was/is The Power of Vulnerablilty. I clicked on the link and was blown away and mesmerized by the treasure trove of discovery in her talk. She was saying things that gave me a new way of thinking, about what I had been going through for years, in my self-discovery and self-empowerment work. How shame and fear and courage and letting yourself be seen and authenticity and more have such an effect on a person's Sense of Worthiness or Unworthiness. Her research led her to her own self discovery and she shared her story in a funny, endearing, compelling and enlightening way. I am grateful to Brene for sharing her Work and to Leslie for tweeting about it.

I have listened to that 20+min talk several times now. And each time I do, my mind allows a little more to filter in past the gatekeeper, that insists on believing, that I am not worthy of anything ... you name it.

So, I have decided on a list of intentions for 2011, that are things I love and things I fear, and gently allow myself to lean into them.. and let the discomfort that may come up, come up and move through it, by accepting it... not fighting it. BeCause, I am not perfect and that's ok.. it's what is.
I am enough.(just typing that makes me fearful)

My list: (not in order of importance)

*Learn to swim
*Join AMACs Speakers panel
*Record for the Blind English&Spanish
*Work on my book
*Blog more
*Eat more organic Fruits&Vegies
*Take care of my knees&shoulders
*Buy stationary bicycle
*Add flex&strength exercise
*Love some one
*Keep up with my daily journaling

This time, this year, this is a list of things I love to do. I will focus on them, not to lose weight or feel sexy or be better. No. To take care of myself with compassion, in a way I have never done before. To be on my side.

Persistance is my Middle name, when it comes to doing things for others... and this time I will use it for my own good.. for my health and well-being.. not to please any one else.
Wish me well. Thank You.

When Love Found Me...

2010-12-08T03:16:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas Time and I seem to always find myself feeling a myriad of feelings, from fear&saddness to Peace&Joy.
When I was a babe, I loved Christmas. I loved the Mexican chocolate and cinnamon toast my Grandma would make for me every night, before bedtime.
We lived in Devine, Texas. A small town just south of San Antonio. Nights were so magical to me.. the diamond studded skies.. always made me feel an awesome feeling deep in my Soul.
In the Summer, I would be out there til I was forced to come in and go to bed. When all I wanted was to sit in my chair and stare at the wonderment of the skies and dream. I had a knowing that I could never put into words. Well I would know them in my mind but if I attempted to give them voice.. they would leave my mind.  That still puzzles me.

So when I had to go to bed, I made sure that I got the window side of the bed.. and stare at the sky until I fell asleep. I would have wonderful dreams.  The kind that kids love to have... or at least the kind I loved. It was many a time that I would dream of going out into the yard and finding coins and arrowheads under rocks.  When I woke from these dreams, I would run outside and go straight to that spot and sure enough.. the coins and arrowheads were right there where I dreamt they would be.
I wish that was still the case for me.
Now I dream things that are not concrete and real.. they're abstract and convoluted.
Oh, to be a child again...

I was about five when I first noticed a very pretty girl walking by our house headed to school. I remember having an unfamiliar and pleasant feeling when I looked at her. I was fascinated by her. She was beautiful. I waited for the appropriate time that she usually walked by.  I would imagine
what it would be like to talk to her. I was shy, but one day when I was about seven, she walked by.. I walked up to her and asked her what her name was. Deliah., she said. What a lovely name.  Her voice played in my head til I went to sleep.
I waited for her everyday and each time we talked a little more. And each time we talked, I felt closer to her. One day I realized that I loved her. That I loved how I felt around her. I never wanted her to
leave when we were talking. Never a touch.. but a longing that grew deeper and deeper. That was my first encounter with Love.
Then one day, I moved with my family to San Antonio and I was devastated because I could not see her. That was my first encounter with the pain that comes from separating from the one you love...

Vince Gill - When Love Finds You

2010-12-08T02:33:00.000-08:00

The Qbama Paradox by Rachel Maddow

2010-12-07T00:50:00.000-08:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26315908/vp/38389219%2338389219#38389103

fallen lauren wood

2010-07-25T05:19:00.000-07:00

Fallen by lauren Wood

2010-07-25T05:08:00.001-07:00

The Beloved -- Sweet Harmony -- Let's come together, right now, in..

2010-07-25T05:01:00.000-07:00

I kissed A Girl And I Liked it!! Katy Perry

2010-07-25T04:48:00.000-07:00

Marco-Polo-Rubio Ads & Rachel Maddow...FUNNY!

2010-07-25T02:43:00.000-07:00

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UppidityLesbian takes it to an UppidityMan...#Billo...this is so HOT!!! fr MaddowShow.com

2010-07-25T02:19:00.000-07:00

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Marco Rubio on MaddowShow.com Ads

2010-07-25T02:17:00.000-07:00

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Everything Happens for the Best!

2010-06-13T20:22:00.000-07:00

Posted at Alamar Fernandez's Blog: Open Salon
JUNE 12, 2010 5:31A

For the better part of my life, I have tried to live by this tenet: Everything happens for the Best, even when it feels like Hell.

I feel so sad and powerless, watching what is happening to the helpless animals, caught in this manmade disaster, by BPOil in the Gulf of Mexico. Covered by this poisonous oil, they sit or swim in it and look stunned and lost...and of course they are dying by an unknown number...pelicans, fish, whales&dophins and the fauna whatever lives and thrives in the Gulf Of Mexico is being suffocated, killed.

And the wetlands, the coast line, the fisheries, the livelihoods of thousands are and will be affected.

As a young girl, I spent many Summers, with my family, fishing, and playing on the beaches in Galveston and Corpus Christi. It makes me so sad and angry to know that things will change there.

I want to hit somebody. I want the Men, who are responsible for this Horrendous assault on our Planet, Mother Earth, to be held accountable and punished, severely.

And then I, also, feel guilty, because I drive a car. I am unable to ride a bicycle and walking is not that easy with osteoarthritis in my knee joints.

Greed and politics are responsible for this BPOilDisaster. In Spanish, there is a saying: se le eiso muy facile... it seemed so easy or simple to just go ahead and do what they did, knowing that there would/could be serious consequences, if something went wrong. With impunity, it seems, they proceeded, without safe-guards because they were too costly, I read.

All I can do is continue to implore Pres Barack Obama and the Congress to do what they can to stop this flow of oil into the Gulf of Mexico, ASAP.

And I can pray for a Miracle..that what is happening be stopped SOON... And let the BEST make itself Known...

For this I Pray.

There's Nothing Personal going on Here...

2010-06-06T00:49:00.000-07:00

I read an artical by Jane Smiley, author of the novel, Private Life, in the June 2010 Issue of Prevention Magazine, titled: It's Nothing Personal.

It is about her own personal experience of divorce from her husband and how she dealt with it. The circumstances were quite daunting...he left her for their dental hygienist of whom he said was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. WHOA...
They had a 4yr old son and huge mortgages.

She wrote:
"And the best thing anyone said to me was not 'I never trusted that guy' or 'He'll come back' or even 'you're a strong person you can handle this.'
It was 'THERE IS NOTHING PERSONAL GOING ON HERE.'
A precept, part of a Bhuddhist/Christian/New Age belief system."

When I read this, a bell went off in my mind...in my heart. I have heard slightly different variations on this theme, like, 'Don't place any value on it.' or 'Don't let it push your buttons.' But this was crystal clear as she further explained it.

She wrote, "This one sentence rang like a bell. 'There is nothing personal going on here.' The more I said it the more I savored it. 'There is nothing personal going on here-- my husband is acting out his own drama.' 'There is nothing personal going on here -- what is really happening is different from what I think is happening.' 'There is nothing personal going on here-- there is a larger pattern to my life than these fears.' 'There is nothing personal going on here -- but what is going on is worth contemplating."
YES, YES IT IS! Link to her article: http://prevention.coverleaf.com/prevention/201006?pg=146#pg146

I work in a Customer Service Call Center taking orders and helping people with their Travel needs. Sometimes, it is very challanging with some customers. After reading this article, I wrote this sentence on a post-it and placed it where I can see it all the time: 'There is nothing personal going on here.'
And it has been helpful, not only with customers, but with some of the people I work with, namely, Supervisors. One in particular who has been chasing me for a long time. He uses passive aggressive ways to get back at me. Tonight was such an event. I reacted and we had an open verbal disagreement in front of some of our co-workers. I yelled at him, "leave me alone...stop talking to me!" I was physically tired, we have been very busy, so that contributed to my being more susciptible to reacting emotionally.
After a bit, we stopped talking, at each other, and he finally left me alone.

As I sat there, I started to repeat this mantra over and over: 'There is nothing personal going on here, he is acting out his own drama.'

It calmed me down, and I was able to think rationally, and be proactive.

As Jane said, "this is a wiser way of understanding the people around you. And how they have their own passions, motivations, and histories, that sometimes(always)grip them in ways, that even they do not grasp -- ways you don't have to respond to automatically."

So this is helping me understand how I can stay cool, step back, and see my turmoil--whatever it may be-- detached--from a distance; that I can understand and handle, what comes at me, in my world, much better, when not taken, so personally.

When I remembered that 'there is nothing personal going on here', my anger subsided and I didn't have to be right... I apologized for yelling at him, in front of others. He was cool with that and we parted on a better note.

As Jane said,"When I remember there is nothing personal going on here, fear recedes. Anger recedes. Patience sets in, and like a reader, I get interested. What will happen next?"

Thank you Universe for leading me to Jane Smiley's Article... Thank You, Jane;)...
What WILL happen next?

I was Born...

2010-02-22T01:46:00.000-08:00

I was born at 9:45am on Feb.23, 1943, in Devine, Tx.

There to receive me, with my Mom, were: my Grandpa & Grandma, my Aunt Concha and Dr. Woods, at home...surrounded by my Loving Family.
My Mom was not married. My Grandpa did not approve of my Biological father so he was not included.

My Mom was very naive, as were most women of our culture in those days, so she was expecting a Cesarean delivery. That's all she had known since she had been working with an Anglo family, as a Nanny, and her employer only had Cesarean births. She had not been present at any of her siblings births. And sexuality and I guess, giving birth, was not discussed with the young ones.
Imagine how horrified my Mom was when she was informed, that it was to be a vaginal birth. (She tells me, now, that she was scared to death)

Fortunately, for her, I was in a big hurry to be born. It took something like 45mins to an hour. I was born prematurely. I was a few weeks early. And I was quite small. I weighed less than 5lbs and fit in a shoebox...some might say I still do...LOL.

Other than that I was born whole and pretty healthy. At first, when I was coming out, Dr. Woods declared I was a boy, because of the position I was in, he said...but after cleaning me up...guess what?

It's a Girl!!!

My Grandpa called me his little Angel from Devine. He named me Alamar (to the Sea); after the beautiful young daughter, of the family who lived across the highway, named Alamar. He had a 'crush' on her... so, it runs in the family:)

But such a Big name for such a little girl was too much. My Grandma, Mom, Aunts, & Uncles called me ALMA. My cousins couldn't even begin to pronounce my name...mostly they called me MIE...My Cousin BooBoo, (Myrna), called me Ah-yee-mar. And most of them, still do!

Even I had a hard time with it. Kids used to tease me and call me other names.

But, when I first visited Santa Barbara, in 1974, I saw a motel on the beach named ALA MAR. That was a Good Sign. But then on a later visit, I saw a HUGE SIGN, hanging across STATE Street, at a stop light, that read: ALAMAR AVENUE.
I knew I was home, and Somebody Loved my name.

I felt I belonged. I moved to SB, in 1975, and stayed.

I have had an incredibly interesting and challenging life, up to now. I expect the next 30 - 40 years to be even more exciting, and hopefully, I will be able to handle all challenges, that may arise.

I have put in a lot of time... 67yrs...and I am ready to Reap some Rewards... some GOODNESS!

I am excited about the rest of my life. I have made many promises, to myself, for the next chapter. I intend to use what I have learned, wisely, and to the best of my ability; for my Highest Good and the Highest Good of others.
I am thankful and grateful that I have some insight, now, that I wish I had had in my 20's & 30's, to help me create a better life for myself. I, now, take full responsibility for whatever shows up in my life. And I know, that Forgiveness has a lot to do with what shows up.
So, daily, I forgive others and myself.

Thank you for being my friend.

Love, Alamar

My Daily Goal...

2010-01-13T01:12:00.000-08:00

Every Morning, I wake up with my thoughts for the day.

And my daily goal is to Make a Difference in my World, my Universe, by Releasing & Letting go of Counter Intentions, Negative Energies that block my Path to Divinity.
It clears this Path between Divinity and I, to receive Divine Inspiration & Guidance for my Highest Good and the Highest Good of others.
Releasing these Negative Energies. allows me to recognize opportunies to Feel-Know Love & Happiness.

And this is the secret to the Law of Attraction,
Releasing, letting go of counter intentions.
Clearing the Path to having everything you want to have, do & Be...

Today I Heard my voice, again...

2009-12-29T23:04:00.000-08:00

I have been off work for eight months.

On March 15, 2009, I tripped and fell at work. I dislocated my right shoulder. It popped right out of the socket. You've probably heard of the saying: Writhing in Pain.
It was a saying to me...but now, I know what it means. Your body writhes from side to side...and there is no position you can
be in that, that it doesn't hurt like....well, like Hell!

Luckily, there were two hefty guys, on that day, in the center where I work. They were able to lift me up off the floor. I could not help with either arm. It was not fun, to say the least.
After a couple of hours, we realized that I had done more than PULL some muscles. I went to Urgent Care and after demanding that they take an X-Ray...it was found that I had dislocated my right shoulder, right out of its socket, and that was the cause of the severe pain.
After many months of Physical Therapy, an MRI showed a large tear, in the rotator cuff and I agreed to Surgery. More pain. Shoulder surgery, any surgery, is not fun. Shoulder surgery is an amazing challenge. So after many more months of PT, I was sent back to work on a light schedule.
The company and my co-workers have been so --Welcome Baaaack--lots of love and hugs Which has made it much more fun to be back at work.
I spend hours on the computer, in the center, taking orders and doing customer service. I have been re-training for the last couple of weeks...to bring me up to speed on changes.

Today, I got back on the phones, talking to travelers on the other end. I had been feeling anxious, about getting back on the phones...doubting that I could do it ...weird because I had done the job for three years prior to the fall. I think it is actually called performance anxiety. And it is normal energy. It primes us to propel us onto the stage. I took the first call, and I did not die...LOL.
Today, I found my voice again...

MERRY CHRISTMAS&HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL...

2009-12-24T16:19:00.000-08:00

I promise to write more and post more on my Blog, if you promise to read me...LOL.
Thank you for visiting my Blog and letting ALLEE tell you of the WAYS she has experienced life and how she sees life...in the moment...which of course, CHANGES!
The Best to you all.....ALWAYS.

Do You Believe in Premonitions?

2009-11-21T04:07:00.000-08:00

My girlfriend and I had separated. I was living alone in a small upstairs one- bedroom apt.
I had taken a shower and was getting ready for bed. Wrapped in a towel, I laid across my bed, closed my eyes and this scenario played out in my mind:

Knock! Knock!...at the door. I got up walked to the door and asked, "Who is it?"
"It's Gail, open the door please."

It was my x-girlfriend. We had remained friends and ocassionly got together.

I said, "Just a minute, I just got out of the shower and I am naked,"
She laughed and replied, "Allee, open the door, I've seen you naked before,
remember?!?"

I laughed out loud, opened the door and let her in.
She was in her bathrobe carrying a small overnite bag.

She said, "Uncle Joe and his wife are staying at Mom's, tonight. I gave them my room for the night. I thought I would come and stay with you, tonight. Is that ok?" as she crawled into my bed.
I was a little surprised, but I said, "Oh, ok." And got into bed with her...

I woke up to a knock at the door. I was still in my towel, laying across my bed. I think I had fallen asleep. I wasn't expecting anyone.

I went to the door and asked, "Who is it?"
"It's Gail. Please open the door."
I said, "Just a minute. I just got out of the shower & I'm naked."
She said, somewhat frustrated, "ALLEE, please I've seen you naked before, remember?"
I heard myself say, "Oh, Yeah."
I opened the door and let her in.

She was wearing her bathrobe, carrying a small bag and said she needed to stay with me, that night, because she had given up her room, to her Aunt & Uncle, for the night...and crawled into my bed...
I felt disoriented & confused. I told her what I had experienced.
She didn't believe me...but I knew that I had just experienced something strange.

And now, I know.
It was...a Premonition... of something, about to happen, right before it happened...

Mie Musing ... About Marriage not to be.

2009-11-21T03:50:00.000-08:00

When I was a young girl, between the ages of 19-22, I considered getting married, to shut my family up! It was always THE Question at family gatherings, small or large:
SO, when are you going to get married and give your Mom & Dad some GrandChildren?
I hated that question because I have 'The GAY' in me...for as long as I can remember!
And, the only one I wanted to marry was my girlfriend, at the time, not any of the guys around.
Well I'm so glad that I had the inner wisdom & courage, to not take that foolish step, with a guy, to shut my family up, because the only one I would've been shutting up, was ME!

Mie Musing

2009-11-19T01:04:00.000-08:00

My Grandma, Eugenia, used to say to me:

"Worry comes from Fear,
Caring comes from Love,
so Love yourself, your life, and
everyone in it, Mija..."

*****

Recent attention to "The Gay" reminds me
of this moment in my life, when I was about 7yrs old:

"I saw her watching, as he pushed me, and I went
rolling down the Hill...My first 'Girl' Thrill..."

HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

2009-11-08T22:24:00.000-08:00

My BFF, Carol, a Teacher, sent me this and made my day!

Hi! Thought this was clever and funny. Hope you enjoy it! Carol
Subject: HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

THE FOLLOWING IS A QUESTION GIVEN ON A UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA CHEMISTRY MID-TERM, AND AN ANSWER TURNED IN BY A STUDENT.

The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

BONUS QUESTION: IS HELL EXOTHERMIC (GIVES OFF HEAT) OR ENDOTHERMIC (ABSORBS HEAT)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed)..

ONE STUDENT, HOWEVER, WROTE THE FOLLOWING:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely...
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates being what they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

I had been having a kind of gloomy ok day...saved by my BFF!!!

It's A Man's Job!

2009-10-08T02:58:00.000-07:00

My Grandmother wanted me to be a Doctor of Medicine.

I took college prep classes, throughout my high school years.
I started a part time job, in the 9th grade, to start saving money for college.
In 1962, I graduated from Harlandale High School, and started my Freshman year, at San Antonio City College.

My plans were to make my Grandma, happy.
My, best laid plans, as they say, went awry.

I lost my job. I couldn't afford to pay for my tuition. My Step-father refused to help me. He was saving money for my brother's college Educ...
I had concentrated my studies, on college prep courses, and didn't have any business skills, whatsoever. I almost flunked my Typing class in my Senior Year
I was unemployed and unemployable....fortunately, I qualified for unemployment.
After about a year, of saddness and disappointment, with my turn of events...I was tested by the unemployment office, and they found, I had an 'apptitude for numbers'.
I qualified for a program titled: The Manpower Development & Training Act---which I believe, had been implemented by Pres Kennedy or Johnson, or both.
The MDTA was my saving grace.

Indeed, I did have an 'apptitude for numbers'...I was enrolled in a Bookkeeping & Accounting Class... attending classes at my old High School.
I was a whizz, at this bkkping & acctg stuff. I was an A+ student...who knew. I graduated from the class and was hired by the local bank.

I was on a new path, away from the medical field. By this time, my Grandmother had passed away, and I had only myself to please.

Life in San Antonio, had never been, enjoyable for me. I hated (still do) the weather and terrain. I longed to move to California. I had seen pictures, in movies, of Lake Tahoe, mountain ranges, Hollywood, etc. that called to me.
I had moved in and out of acctg jobs, for a few years, in SA, and was not happy...even though I had a partner.
The opportunity arose, to move to California, with friends, and I took it. I Disappointed my Mother...but I had to make the move...I felt in my Heart.

So, Memorial Day Weekend, 1968, we headed West. What an adventure that was, to drive my Mustang, pulling a trailer up and down mountains...not knowing, what the hell I was doing. It's a wonder, we didn't fly off the edge, of one of those mountains...Angels guiding me, all the way.

Arriving in Long Beach, Ca. and getting settled in, was surreal. In less than two weeks, I had a bookkeeping job at Purex Corp, in Carson, Ca.
For about 2 years, I worked in the Acctg. Dept., as a floater...doing all the jobs in Accts Rec & Accts Pay...plus some Daily Sales and Analysis Reports.
I had hired in on the ground floor.

I worked with, and had good relationships, with most of the dept. heads.
One day, one of the guys, in the National Sales Office, informed me that he was getting promoted, from Contract & Pricing Coordinator to National Sales Office Coordinator. He said, that I should apply for his job. I said I didn't know that I could do it. He explained the job to me, and I agreed. I could do that.
I gave it some thought...maybe two hrs...and I went to the HR Dept and applied for it.
That night, I went home, and told my partner about it. She was Secretary to one of the Biggies. And she already knew...
Seems, word had gone out, that Alamar was applying for a 'Man's Job'...what was wrong with her?
I had been told, by the Human Resources Dept Manager, that yes, indeed this was a Man's Job, and there was no way I could apply for it...but that they would see what they could do...NOT.
A day later, I was called into the office, and was told that yes, they would let me apply for it, but that I should not get my hopes up...after all, it was a Man's Job.
My partner's boss, had stepped in, when she told him what was happening.
He lost it. There was this thing called EEO--Equal Employment Opportunity--and if a company held Government Contracts, which the Divsion of Purex, I worked for, did; that company had to comply with EEO Standards...or risk losing all Government Contracts.

So I was granted an interview, with Lee, my boss to be. He grilled me pretty good.
"Well now, Allee (my nickname), this job requires alot of math."
"Good, I have an 'appitude for numbers.' I replied.
"Well, yes, but, it's more than that. It's having to gather information, to help us, come up with a contract bidding price."
I said, "Lee, I do that, everyday, when I gather, all kinds of information, to prep the National Sales Reports for you, and the Other Dept Heads."
"Yes, but, you have to be able to talk, to the Salesmen, about the samples, they need, for their bids." he insisted.
"I know," I replied, " I speak to them everyday, about what they need for their reports & bids."
"Yes, but," he protested, "you will have to go, out to the factory, and put together, the samples, they need, and ship them."
"Well, thank God," I said, "that, I worked, out in the plant, when we had the strike. I worked, in the sample room, and had to ship stuff out to everybody."
"Yes, but, you will have to talk to Government bidders, about what they want..." he continued.
I interrupted, "Lee, I believe that I can do this job, and so does Scott( the Man I would be replacing). And, I believe, that you will be very pleased, when you see, that I can."
He gave in, and said, "I'll see what I can do for you, Allee."
I replied, "Thank you, Lee, that's all I'm asking for."

When I was promoted to that job, it was like an earthquake in the company. I held that position, for about two years.
Then Scott left the company, and I was promoted to the National Sales Office Coordinator position. I was in that position for about 3 years.

In 1975, I left Purex Corporation, because, I wanted to move, into an outside sales position. I don't know, if there were any women, in outside sales positions, with big corporations, like Purex in 1975.
They said "No... It's A Man's Job!..."

I guess, you could say, I was a mover and a shaker...
breaking ground.

The Law of Attraction & Me.

2009-10-03T17:48:00.000-07:00

I decided to post some older posts from Myspace:

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Law of Attraction & Me
Current mood: contemplative

When I was younger, I used to believe that the Law of Attraction was about romantic attraction. And, perhaps, I still do...NOT Really.
The last year and half, has been very challenging, for me, in all areas of relationships....family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, X's, old friends I went from Elementary to high school with, are finding me 40 years later; new friends, some much younger than I...making me face my mortality, and that I am not 17!
I am currently on leave from work, and have had alot of time to contemplate alot of things, and this in particular: Am I done? Is there more for me to do? How can I make a difference in my world? Where is my passion?
Well, I have done alot of things in my life...some I feel good about, others...well, for another time..here are some good Things:
I got myself born. Circumstances were challenging, but I survived. I graduated from High School. I have had approx. three years of college, but not yet graduated..maybe someday. I made a monumental move when I was 25yrs old...moved West to LB, Cal from SA, Tx. (one of my best moves on this Chess BD called Life). I had the pleasure of three long term relationships. with women who loved me, dearly. However, I was too young and immature. I Closed the door for awhile (30 years)...and went in search of Alamar...my Real Self....from the Nu-Age Ashram to Self Improvement Workshops...I searched for Alamar. During this time, I stopped smoking; I changed my direction, work-wise; I went into Broadcast Mktg., and found I loved it. I found passion for something. After 24years, with this Radio Station, and at the ripe age of 60...we were all laid off.
And once again, I had to find a way to survive. So I re-invented myself...learned to use COMPUTER Magic. In the past year or so, I experienced two short-term relationships that ended painfully.
Healing from a broken heart is bad enough, but even worse, when you are trying to heal another broken body part. Recently, I fell at work (where I exercise computer magic:..LOL)...and dislocated my right shoulder. I am mending and the sling should be out of my life in 2-3wks....YEA!!!! ( Not the best sleeping partner!:)
So I am back to re-inventing myself, and using what I learned about myself, from these past experiences: Be kind to myself. Be patient. Be compassionate. Be empathetic. I don't know what is best for me, what's more anybody else. Keep my opinions to myself, unless asked for( well that is harder, now, that I am on Twitter;). Play nice with others. Be kind to others. Understand, that my life is not as important, to others. I am not the center of their Universe. Surround myself with positive, loving, caring people. Love, honor and respect others.
So back to the Law of Attraction and me. I am working through Joe Vitale's " The Missing Secret" Audio Program... While I am mending my Body...may as well focus on my Mind and Soul, too.
I'll let you know in a few days, weeks, months(?)......how my relationship with The law of Attraction is going. I am pretty curious, to see, how this missing secret will help me break through to Divinity...and finally let me have what I want to have, do and Be.

Namaste

The Pendulum Swings...

2009-09-18T02:40:00.000-07:00

The political climate has reached a very 'far out' swing to the Right...the extreme Right Wing, of the GOP.

This swing began with Reagan, overtly, demonizing 'Govt.'
Then came the Neo-Cons....ushered in by Newt Gingrich's 'Contract on America', in the mid-nineteen-nighties, taking over the Congress.
Followed by 8 years of Geo. W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Rumsfeld & others, breaking down the country, by robbing it's Treasury and Precious Souls.

And now, we find ourselves on the brink of Change...for the better.
If only, the madwo/men of the extreme Right, and GOP leaders would stop this maddness and co-operate or get out of the way. But that does not seem likely to happen anytime soon. They have thrown in all their chips.

The election of Pres Barack Obama, the first African American, who is actually half-black/half-white, has wrought havoc in some parts of the US.
Many White people in our country, mostly in the South, have gone into convulsions over the election of this Black Man...with a Mandate.
They are reacting with such Fear, that they can't breathe.
They are tense, uptight, and mad as hell...such that there is FIRE coming out of their nostrils... like dragons on the hunt.

It is very sad to see, this hopeful & promising. election turned into such a miserable state of affairs, by the very people who started taking this country down, in the name of Security, Patriotism, and love for the Constitution. The Constitution which they shredded with impunity, for eight years under the charge of the Bush Administration....because they could.
I, vaguely, remember the climate when Pres John F. Kennedy was attacked, politically, and then Assassinated. That was very scarey.
But even more so was the equally violent Assassination of Robert F. Kennedy.
I lived in Long Beach, Ca, at the time. It was so shocking.

So now what I see is deja vu.
I see the leaders of the GOP(not so grand) standing by and/or participating in the feeding of this frenzy to de-legitimize(is that a word?) Pres Barack Obama.

The Day after Pres Obama's Inauguration, I read an oped by (R)Sen Cornyn of Texas, saying that his job was to stop Pres Obama...to make sure he failed in getting his agenda, passed. His job was to stop Pres Obama from fulfilling his campaign promises.

My reaction was: "You Bastards!"

I wasn't surprised at all! And I wondered if anyone else was thinking as I was, and preparing for the fight ahead.
I cut out the article and brought it home with me.

And so here we are in Sept. after several months of the GOP doing just what it said it was going to do. It is clear to anyone, willing to see, that they have followed through with their promise.
They have carpeted the political scene with attacks on Pres Obama, that are rediculous and untrue. But they are so effective in manipulating their ignorant base, to get out and perform free speech in the most Un-American ways.
They have attacked him with insane impunity. In ways that the damn Neo-cons would never have allowed on GWBush.
For God's sake, tee-shirts were scrutinized at any of his gatherings, and if someone was wearing anything, that remotely criticized Bush, they were thrown out of the gatherings.
And now, GUNS have been carried, in full view, at some of Pres Obama's town hall meetings. A blatant finger in the Pres' face! It is a threatening gesture, and laws should be passed to prohibit this action. Laws to keep guns away from wherever the Pres is present.

They say this is not about Race.
Well it IS about his Race. It is Racism, Bigotry and Hate, pure and simple.

I was born into a very racist Texas, in 1943.
I remember the segregated schools. I didn't understand why we were separated, like that. Then came de-segregation, and it was even worse. I was beaten at the young age of 7, by my teachers son, and when I complained to her, she just laughed.
I hated School for a long time and refused to go.

We were Not allowed into restaurants, ice cream parlors, theaters, etc. Signs read: NO DOGS. NO NIGGERS. NO MEXICANS ALLOWED.

I can smell it, I can hear it, I can see it...Racism.
And now, as an adult, I am. also, acutely aware of Bigotry, Sexism and Misogyny.

It all stems from FEAR.
The people who have the most to lose, with Pres Obama keeping his campaign promises ... are stoking the 'ignorants'...to do their dirty work...because they both fear losing something.
The ignorants don't know, exactly, what they fear losing...but the Puppet Masters do: MONEY&POWER.

It is a very scarey time....it is deja vu!

The Pendulum has swung way, way, way, 'far out' to the extreme Right.
And the only thing that comforts me, is the fact, that the Pendulum Swings back into Equilibrium... no matter what!

God bless us All!

Computer died, I survived!

2009-08-16T19:26:00.000-07:00

On July 29th, I put out on Facebook, Twitter, Myspace & BLIP.fm, that I was headed for surgery, be back soon.

July 30, my computer crashed. After much pleading, cajoling & screaming, with customer service centers, in India, Indonesia, etc., I accepted that HP was not going to send me a replacement, immediately

NO. I had to wait for a box, from them, to ship it back for repair.

In the meantime, Aug 4th, I had shoulder surgery. And for several days after, I was plain old 'loopy' with meds. for excruciating pain.

Then as my head began to clear, some, & the pain was more tolerable, I remembered that my on-line friends didn't know that my computer had died.
And by now, they probably thought I had died.

I did not have access where I was staying. What a weird feeling that was on so many levels. I wondered: Did they care?
And that I was so hooked on being on-line with people I didn't know, had never met...very eye-opening.

I came home, and tried getting on-line through my dinosaur, WEBTV...no go.
So, I gave into what was...
I read. I watched TV, but that was emotionally painful, because all I could do was yell at the TV commentators and their BS.

Finally, a couple of days ago, my computer came home.
I was so Happy.

My neighbor opened the box and set my laptop on my desk
and away I went, back onto the net, to play with my on-line friends.
I am passionate about politics(very Liberal), Music & people recovering their inherent power, so I love putting in my two-cents worth, because I care & I can.

I am 66 yrs old. I fought computers for a long time, until this year.
I am so aware, now, of their value.

I am an ordinary woman with no status, but I can get on-line and voice my opinion about anything or anyone, and sometimes 'they', the Elite, hear me & respond.

That's pretty damn-fun!

About Me

2009-07-24T16:12:00.000-07:00

I am venturing into the blogosphere, cautiously & excitedly.
I have been writing a daily/wkly journal, since 1974. I have a few stories to tell/share, with anyone interested in reading about me and my adventures.
I have been working on a couple of books, for several years, and decided that a blog would help me complete those works, or not.
I am 66... an ordinary female, living in extraordinary times and have experienced some extraordinary things...