When Love Found Me...

It's Christmas Time and I seem to always find myself feeling a myriad of feelings, from fear&saddness to Peace&Joy.
When I was a babe, I loved Christmas.  I loved the Mexican chocolate and cinnamon toast my Grandma would make for me every night, before bedtime. 
We lived in Devine, Texas.  A small town just south of San Antonio.  Nights were so magical to me.. the diamond studded skies.. always made me feel an awesome feeling deep in my Soul. 
In the Summer, I would be out there til I was forced to come in and go to bed.  When all I wanted was to sit in my chair and stare at the wonderment of the skies and dream.  I had a knowing that I could never put into words.  Well I would know them in my mind but if I attempted to give them voice.. they would leave my mind.  That still puzzles me.

So when I had to go to bed, I made sure that I got the window side of the bed.. and stare at the sky until I fell asleep.  I would have wonderful dreams.  The kind that kids love to have... or at least the kind I loved.  It was many a time that I would dream of going out into the yard and finding coins and arrowheads under rocks.  When I woke from these dreams, I would run outside and go straight to that spot and sure enough.. the coins and arrowheads were right there where I dreamt they would be.
I wish that was still the case for me.
Now I dream things that are not concrete and real.. they're abstract and convoluted.
Oh, to be a child again...

I was about five when I first noticed a very pretty girl walking by our house headed to school.  I remember having an unfamiliar and pleasant feeling when I looked at her.  I was fascinated by her.  She was beautiful.  I waited for the appropriate time that she usually walked by.  I would imagine
what it would be like to talk to her.  I was shy, but one day when I was about seven, she walked by.. I walked up to her and asked her what her name was.  Deliah., she said.  What a lovely name.  Her voice played in my head til I went to sleep. 
I waited for her everyday and each time we talked a little more.  And each time we talked, I felt closer to her.  One day I realized that I loved her.  That I loved how I felt around her.  I never wanted her  to
leave when we were talking.  Never a touch.. but a longing that grew deeper and deeper.  That was my first encounter with Love.
Then one day, I moved with my family to San Antonio and I was devastated because I could not see her.  That was my first encounter with the pain that comes from separating from the one you love...